I always got a feeling that someone unauthorise has been reading/following my blog, i guess i've somehow confirm this thought of mine. Oh well, not that i mind a single bit because it was suppose to be open / public anyway. A blog is a place where u able to pour out yr feelings and thoughts and there's nothing to hide out there.


Did i actually talk bad about somebody else behind their back? did i? have i ? my goodness, what i have written in my blog is nothing but the truth.


Seems like she out to make me a culprit of the whole relationship thingy. Well it takes two hand to clap and it take both parties to maintain a relationship. I admit that i belong to the "bo-chap" kind, i realise all those mistakes that i did, i'm not those type that goes around pointing fingers at others and say "hey, its yr fault and it's not mine".
I always the kind that when things happen or things is happening, i would sit down and reflect upon myself, what is going wrong, what actually happen, was it the fault of my own or something else.
I'm a thinker not someone who would push the blame to others. Even the recent car accident that i had, i did straight away admit that i was wrong, i was wrong to drive fast on rainning day, did i point a finger and say look, "the bend was too sharp, how can they make the bend sooo sharp, it sooo dangerous for road users" or "it must be that slippery road, cant they just do something bout that road" or even "the car is lousy, i should have drive a better and newer car"
Nothing of these sort, i know where i stand, if i know i'm in the wrong, then i'm in the wrong! There no two way about that and i wouldnt even point a finger at anyone else except myself.


What went wrong with my previous relationship, hell lots of reason, was it totally my fault!?!? A BIG NO!
And mind you that's an answer that i did went tru with some serious thinking!
As i said earlier, i always sit down and think it tru, when i broke the news to my parents, i didnt even point a finger at her! I didnt even say anything bad about her! All i did say was, i was wrong in this, that, and there, i shouldnt have done this, that and there. I didnt even utter a single wrong thing that she had did to me to my parents. All it was is just me, and me , and still me full stop!
Even when i tell my friends when they ask, it still the same, and when my closer frns probe more then i began to tell them more about the current situation about us then. I'm not going to say out all the juicy details now because i dont see a need for it anyway.


Alot of my frns did questions about the things i do for her, i wasnt moved by them because i know what i want, and to those who knows more abt what actually happen on the current situation then did label her as a bitch as a matter of fact. Not me, never did i say or label herself as a bitch even though she herself did kinda admit that.
I did all i can, things that i wouldnt even think i'm capable of doing, things i wouldnt know i can actually allowing it to happen to me, and things that i could even be able to tolerate to such a dramatic extend. In fact, to sum it up, i went to the limit, or should i say over the limit.


Revenge wasnt on my mind then when things happen, unlike some guys out there might have done, i didnt want it and i didnt do it because it wouldnt help the situation anyway and to the matter of fact that she was afterall the person i used to love most.


Did i ever say bad things behind her back? Nope, it was the truth and nothing but the truth. Never scold foul language at her for all the things that she did to me, never hit her, never blame her even when she go to such an extend. My goodness and now she seems like she wanna make me the biggest culprit of the whole damm thing? and making me sound like a damm sore loser?
Does feeling dissapointed and sick of the whole dramatic incident make u such a guilty person! i dont wanna make myself an angel out of this whole thingy because i know i'm not, and i must admit i did wrong things in the past before, however i dont like the feeling of being blame for something that i didnt do.


Oh well, i guess it's enough, dont wanna think too much anyway. It's funnie thinking such a person like her could actually become like that.... oh well..... enough, i reallie think i should stop.
I should look forward to my future rather than about my past. Anyway I'm thankful to god that i have found such a lovely person now, hope that i wouldnt need to experience this whole damm sour incident again. It just make me feel YUCKS! PUKES!


To my dearie now.....
This is for you..........


Because of you - 98 degree


* You're my sunshine after the rain, You're the cure against my fear and my pain