It's been a week since i last blog. Well alot of things has been going tru my mind lately. Been reflecting, thinking about lots of stuffs.... i realise i'm no longer the same before.... ok probably still have some traits of the old. Nonetheless feel that i've grown much more mature these days. Ever since tt fateful thing happen, i think i change quite a fair bit and i mean change for the better.


Firstly, i visit library more often these days, so much so that i begining to ponder whether will it be my hang out place soon. This could never happen many months back, seriously to tell you guys the truth, i dont reallie like to read books, i would prefer to watch movies, shows rather than reading books. Alot of things happen and now i seems like i cant get enough of self-improvement books! These days I've been walking into bookshop and library to scan for books to upgrade myself ever so often.


A change in me definately, and i believe it is definately a change for the better. =) Secondly, i beginning to think more in term of EQ. i started to put myself in other person shoes more often than not. Grown mature or probably i'm ready for the next stage of life. Nowadays i find that 24hr is not enough! Not enough for me to think what i wanna think, do what i wanna do.... simply not enough time. Ppl always say i got time on my side, and i starting to believe so..... however i would have prefer to be much younger. I beginning to realise what all those elders means when they say i got youth or time on my side. I realise they say it with a word of wisdom, Never in my life, i feel the urge of charging myself up for the business world. Though ppl have been saying i have the youth to fight in the business world, I still feel that i should have started sooo much earlier. Many plans came to my mind recently, so much so that even when i'm about to sleep, ideas and thought still wouldnt wanna leave my mind for me to have a good night rest. Simply too much stuffs to ponder about. I feel that i should try and do whatever i wanna do in the business world and grab whatever opportunities that is within my reach, if everything fails, and become bankrupt or whatever, at least i still have some time left to pull myself up. To make long story short, i'm going to be my own boss instead of working for ppl. I believe in working hard for myself rather than for ppl.


Knowledge is never ending and i think i'm far lacking behind in terms of life knowledge.... i'm reallie playing catch up now by reading books and motivational CDs. If all these sounds weird to you , nvm... it's ok... probably somewhere down to road, you will feel what i feel right now. It's painful to work for someone seriously. Shant elaborate on that, if you are smart enough you will understand what i mean.


Today, i look into my dad's eye, for the first time i feel that i fail as a son. I feel soo sour inside me.... Ppl always say human eyes dont tell lies, and i believe it is somewhat true. What i saw was not a reflection of myself in his eyes, what i actually feel/see (if you use heart to see) is a wonderful dad who has aged soooo much in recent years, it just reaffirm me that i would be real devasted if he is no longer ard in this world. He has been a pillar of strenght/support for me, though he can be unreasonable at times, anyway which dad dont. He had work sooo hard all his life for the family, he's been tru tough times ever since he was young, He made all those sacrifices for me and the family for god knows how much. He bite his teeth and carry on working so that he can get our lifes in shape, and even at this tender age of his, he still work sooo hard for money! I feel so bad and ashamed that he still have to work soo hard for money. I thought it should be time for my parents to rest and me taking the full loads for them. I think health is a very much important issues for them. They needed sooo much rest and enjoy the remaining days of their lives. I believe life is very very short, 23 years of gone and i believe i havent have any real impact or done anything to the family. We living in a highly fast moving society that i believe many familys fails to have financial security.
I see ppl living in big houses, big cars, a comfortable lifestyle..... i look it all in envy, it's a dream of many, and of cos it is also one of my many dreams too, can i achieve that, of cos you have to work hard if not it will be call dreaming rather than dreams.
I wanna obtain financial security and rewards my parents for working their socks off for the family. I believe it is the least i could do to make their lifes sooo much more happier and meaningful.


It pains me to see that my parents still work sooo hard every single day for the family. The more i see them working hard and cant help, the more i feel that i'm nothing but a useless bum. I need to work hard and do something for them, i think my parents definately deserve a break after working sooo hard for soooo many years. They definately deserve to go for a six month holiday or even a year holiday break, probably to see the world.


The longer i become financial stable, the longer they have to work hard and sooo much lesser time for them to enjoy themselves. Cause everybody has a life span, happy or not, my parents will leave the world sooner or later. I love my parents sooo much that i wouldnt wanna leave them, but can i make us live forever? The answer is definately no, for those individuals who are now working soo hard to fulfill their own dreams, buying new sports car or branded goods, pls remember that you wouldnt be who you are if you are without your parents. They have work soo hard, ask yourself do you want them to continue to work hard till the last day of their lives? Ever wonder why your parents work soo hard for the family, and don't u think your parents deserve something???? I firmly believe my parents deserve something from me!


So all i have to do now is to work hard and secured financial security/stability!
Today entry is rather emotional and reflective.... i thought i could just pen down some of my many thoughts that has been going tru my minds recently.